Trials Of The Tourney
by EvilTomato
Summary: Four humans, as well as the animal villagers, experience the drama, the horror, the rivalry, and the insanity that is the tourney. Rating is for safety. And hay is for horses.
1. Chapter One: Introduction to the Village

A/N: (Ahem) Hello, everyone! I seriously do not believe that any of you will find this story appealing, emotionally uplifting, or that it will cause you to have a life-changing moment of introspection and analysis of your life's worth. Instead, it will be a random little fic that I've finally decided to type up. Just so you all know, this was originally intended to be in script format, and it has also been lying around for a year or two.......or three....(sweatdrop) It has quite a few hand-written chappies that just require me to modify into story format and type up. I figure that by posting it on , I will finally be inspired to finish the cursed thing. (reads above words) O.O Woo...lots of long words. Erm.....summarize, summarize.....It used to be script. I never posted it. I've changed it. It's not script anymore. It's random and pointless. Constructive criticism will be appreciated, reviews will be adored, and flames will toast my marshmellows. And keep my feet warm. Or ignored. Or.....okay, stopping.

**_DISCLAIMER_**: I don't own Animal Crossing. The only thing I DO own are my own precious little characters, and an army of tomatoes. A warning to all, don't like, don't read. I'll stop with the rambling so you can read the fic now. It's my first Animal Crossing fic, so......yeah. You get the drill. Be nice. Or face my army of Evil Tomatoes and a Hokey Pokey Stick of Pain. You were warned.

Oh, and -Words surrounded by these dashes are the narrarator talking.-

**_Trials of the Tourney Chapter One: The Boring Beginning Chappie Where All Is Explained._**

-Spyke, Shadow, Shady and Fifi all lived in the.....lovely.....town of Metallia. The town was almost **always **covered with weeds. Sometimes, those lazy bums named Shadow, Shady and Spyke would get off their lazy butts and pick a few. These moments were few and far between.-

"Dude, move on with the story already!! I am DYING of boredom here."

F-ine. Anyway, the native fruit of Metallia is the cherry. There was an orange tree or a pear tree or an apple tree somewhere, but that's of no concern to us.-

"PEAR!?! Did you say there's a PEAR tree here?!?! Whereisitwhereisitwhereisit!?!?!?!"

-O.O Uh.....the overall geography of the town is quite interesting. If you like geography, that is. The river starts in acre A-5, flows downward to the lake, then suddenly cuts across the town until it reaches the 1 acres. It makes travel particularily hard....-

"FORGET THE FRIGGIN' GEOGRAPHY LESSON!! WHERE ARE THE PEARS!?!"

"Shady, don't you think you should let the narrarator finish talking? I thought it was very interest-"

"SHUT UP FIFI!!!!! I WANT A PEAR!!!!!"

-Urm.....O.o Spyke, Shady, Shadow and Fifi are the only humans in Metallia. Their houses are located in Acre B-3.-

-Spyke lives in the upper right house. He's still paying the loan on his basement. The roof is white, and the house is surrounded by the trampled remnants of the flowers someone tried to plant there. He has large, innocent-looking eyes, but his personality is about as charming as a box of kitty-litter that hasn't been cleaned in a week.-

"......Well, your mom's so fat that-"

"How many times have you said that this week?"

"Your IQ's higher than the number of times I've said **this** insult."

"Ha ha. Thanks for the compliment, since you've said it 137 times."

"Quit exaggerating."

"I'm not. Shad and I have been counting."

"............Well, your mom's so ugly that she makes YOU look pretty."

"Do you have a death wish or something?"

-Right. Make that a box of kitty litter that's NEVER been cleaned.-

"HEY!! NARRARATOR-PERSON!! COME DOWN HERE AND SAY THAT TO MY FACE YOU-" (Ahem, had to censor that.)

-Someone has a potty mouth.-

"Someone has no snappy comeback."

-And that mouth smells like one, too.-

"Yawn."

-And it doesn't smell like just ANY toilet. His mouth smells like a school bathroom.-

"Go ahead, say all the insults you want, I DON'T CARE!!" The one known as Spyke covered his ears. "La-la-la-la, I can't hear you...."

-He's also very loud and obnoxious. And stupid.-

"LA-LA-LA-LAA!!!" He was nearly screaming now.

-Shadow, unlike Spyke, is very quiet.-

"**LA-LA-LAAAAAA!!"**

"SHUT UP!!!" Shady punched Spyke.

"......"

-She has blue eyes and shoulder-length blue hair. Amazing, how freaky people look in this game.-

Everyone's eye's suddenly popped wide open.

"WE'RE IN A GAME!?!?!" Shady screeched.

A second later, dozens of men in black suits wearing sunglasses jumped through windows or crashed through the ceiling.They surrounded the four people. One of the strange people took out what looked like a remote and held it up. There was a bright, blinding flash. The agents left as quickly as they had come.

"Wha-what happened? And why are the windows broken? And the ceiling has holes in it...."

-....There was an earthquake. Anyway, moving on, Shadow, quiet, strange blue hair, yadda yadda. Uh, she has recently upgraded to a two-story house. She also has...a...pet...snakehead?!?-

"...He's my fishy..."

-Yeah.......Shady lives in the lower-right house. It has a blue roof, and she's almost finished paying for her first expansion.-

"Go me! Go me!" Shady started to do the Happy Dance.

-Her hair is blue, but a shade or two lighter than Shadow's. Her eyes are also half-closed (or half-open, if you're an optimistic sort of person) making her look tired all the time. She's also loud and random, with insults and curses enough to rival Spyke. Did I mention she was random?-

"PINEAPPLES!!!!"

-......-

"YOU ARE A DISGRACE TO PINEAPPLES!!"

-On to Fifi.-

"Hello!"

-Fifi has pink hair.-

"THE PINK!!!!" Shady started spazzing. Spyke fell into a dead faint. Shadow plopped onto the ground, stunned with the sudden realization that Fifi had pink hair.

"Pink is happy!" Fifi smiled, and happy flower-and-rainbow-type-stuff swirled around her head. Shady went from spazzing to an all out seizure. Shadow fainted.

-Now you know....

Now you know.......

Now you know.......

Those weird people. Time for the story to actually start.-

Shady was in a hyper mood. And when the already outgoing and loud Shady got hyper, things became insane to the point of insanity. She ran to the bulletin board, dragging Shadow behind her. "C'mon! C'mon! C'mon!" she squealed like a broken record. "Let'sgobugSpykeuntil hescreamsahigh-pitchedscreamofpain!!!"

They dashed past Fifi. Upon seeing them, she smiled and paused in the watering of her flowers. "Hello, neighbors!" The newest member of the town greeted them.

Shady skidded to a stop. Well, she would have stopped if Shadow hadn't run into her. Slightly dazed from the high-speed collision, she looked up. And saw what Fifi had done to her roof.

"Your roof.....it's....it's.....PINK!!!!

Fifi beamed. "Yes! Isn't it cute?" Shady's eye started to twitch.

"Yeah..." _'If you think giving your neighbors seizures is cute.....HOLY CRAP! My house is right across from hers! I have to wake up to that eyesore each morning!!!'_

Shadow blinked. They had never really spoken to Fifi before. Oh sure, they had said hi when she moved in, but aside from that, they didn't really speak. It happens when your neighbor is one of the dreaded morning people. Quite frankly, Fifi scared Shadow.

Shady checked her watch, absent-mindedly wondering why she was up before noon. Then she remembered that she was hyper.

"WellbyeFifiitwas**really**nicetalkingtoyouI'mgoingtogobugSpykeuntilhescreams."

Spyke ran screaming from his house.

"That didn't take long...."

Spyke ran around in circles for a minute or so, then he finally stopped freaking out long enough to notice the three girls.He ran up to them and shoved his notebook with the handy-dandy calender in their faces.

"THE TOURNEY IS COMING! THE TOURNEY IS COMING!" Lightning flashed in the backround.

_Well, Chappy One is Out of the Way._

Please review. Otherwise, I'll have to poke you with my Hokey Pokey Stick of Pain.


	2. Chapter Two: The Tourney Begins

Well...hello...(ducks suddenly as moldy pineapples, sweaty gym socks, rotten turnips, and beheaded Barbie dolls are thrown at her)...I guess it's a bit late to say "sorry for not updating," isn't it? O.O (gets hit on the head by an evil tomato)

StevetheEvilTomato:OW! Do you know how much it hurts to hit your head?

Wha-HEY! Are you implying that I have a thick skull?

Steve: Yes.

-.;...(hits Steve repeatedly with Hokey Pokey Stick of Pain)

Steve:Ooooooow...

Oh, I'm sorry. I forgot to introduce you all to my muse, Steve the Evil Tomato. Be a good evil tomato and say hello, Steve.

Steve: Hello, Steve.

Is that a bad attempt at humor? Steve, I'm disappointed. I expect better from you.

Steve: Sorry. You're rubbing off on me.

...Do you **want** me to get the ketchup?

Steve: O.O I'll be in front of the tv if you need me. (runs-well, he has no legs, he's a tomato, therefore he can't run, so instead he hops, away)

Now do you all see why I take so long to update? Even my muse has issues.

Disclaimer: If you think I own anything other than my own characters and the plotless plot, I pity you. Beware of cursing. Believe me, it WILL happen.

_Italics _are thoughts.

_"(Italics in parenthesis in speech)"_ You know how AC animals sometimes talk like that, right? Ex: "No, I don't need anything..._(Get me a cherry!)_"

**:BLEEP: **That, ladies and gents, is the ever-so-lovely censor! It is put there instead of certain words that could get this story deleted! Fascinating, ne?

_**Last time...**_

"The fishing tourney starts tomorrow!" Lightning flashed in the backround.

**_Chapter Two: The Tourney Begins..._** (Dun dun duuuuuuuun!)

"The fishing tourney starts tomorrow!" Lightning flashed in the backround...again.

"Dude, how many times are you going to say that? We get it already!"

"What is the fishing tourney?" Lightning flashed in the backround. Everyone blinked, then continued to talk as though that hadn't happened.

"What do you mean 'what is the fishing tourney?'"

"Well, I've never heard of it before." said Fifi.

"You're kidding, right?" Shady, bored with the small talk, snatched Spyke's notebook from his hands and studied the calender.

"Hey...the Tourney actually started a week ago. Why didn't **I** hear about this!" Everyone pondered this among themselves.

**_Flashback to last Sunday..._**

Shady was sprawled across her bed, sleeping and blissfully oblivious to the world, at least, until her alarm clock went off. Lazily, she reached for the snooze button. Unable to find it with her eyes closed, she did the sensible thing. She removed her shovel from her pocket, and blindly tried to smash her alarm clock. After destroying the alarm clock and the orange crate it was on, she rolled over, in a deep slumber once more, the numbers on the alarm clock forever reading 1:02 PM.

Spyke was also in his house, although he was not sleeping. He was battling a great evil, one that has been fought ever since the creation of the Animal Crossing Kingdom. The battle against a horrible menace that had to be stopped at all costs.

**Cockroaches**.

Spyke prowled through the house, releasing the occasional feral growl as he checked beneath his furniture.

"Come out, come out, where ever you are...**GOTCHA!**" Spyke stomped on a cockroach attempting to escape. _Stupid bugs_, he thought angrily. _You think you're so smart. Well, you're not. So die._ The cockroach twitched, and Spyke stomped on it again. Then he looked at the bottom of his shoe. "Eeeeeeewwwww..."

Shadow was not even aware that it was daytime. Both her eyes were fixed on her tv. Both her hands were on her controller. If you had dared to obstruct her view of the tv for even a moment, you would probably notice that her eyes were red, and that she looked tired. Then you would be dead, because Shadow would not stand to have some idiot blocking her view of the screen, not when she almost had the highest high score in the history of Ballon Fight. She had played it constantly through the night, only pausing to gulp down soda, and of course the occasional bathroom break.

Fifi spent the day planting flowers, picking weeds and generally being productive.

**_End Flashback._**

"O-kay. How come Fifi didn't hear about it?" Shady pointed at Fifi. Everyone shrugged.

"So...what is the tourney?"

"I hate flashbacks..." Spyke groaned, rubbing his head. "Well, the fishing tourney happens every six months, in fall and spring. People try to catch the biggest bass. AND WE BECOME MORTAL ENEMIES!"

"How horrible!" Fifi gasped.

"We actually just run around spazzing." Shadow said.

Shady coughed. "Some people cheat." She glared at Spyke, who started to whistle innocently. When he realized it wasn't working, he switched tactics.

"People fall in the river all the time. Especially when they're clumsy."

"Are you calling me clumsy?"

"I'm calling you a genius. NO S''' SHERLOCK!" Shadow had to physically restrain Shady to keep her from strangling Spyke. It was even harder because Spyke wouldn't shut up.

"So you just try to catch the biggest bass?" Fifi remained oblivious to Shady's bloodlust.

"Yep." Spyke stuck his tongue out at Shady. Shadow seriously considered letting Shady loose. "And you can win prizes."

Fifi smiled. "It sounds like such a fun event! I'd better go buy a fishing pole from Tom Nook!" Spyke blinked.

"You've never fished before?"

"Nope!"

"Then I'll be nice and give you some pointers. The only thing you need to worry about is finding** the heart of the rod**!"

"The heart of the rod?"

"It is the secret to fishing success. You must believe in the rod, and then you will catch the fish!"

Fifi nodded, and ran off in the direction of Nookway. Shady stopped struggling.

"What the hell are you talking about! There is no 'heart of the rod,' stupid!"

"I know that," Spyke grinned,"but she doesn't."

Shadow let go of Shady. "You're cheating." Shady pointed out.

"No, no, no, no, noooo! I'm not cheating. Not at all!"

"Uh-huh..."

"Just messing with someone's head the day before a competition. Definately not cheating."

"Right. I believe you."

"You do?"

"...Hell no. Do you think I'm an idiot?"

"Actually, I d-HOLY CRAP!" He ran as fast as he could, with Shady on the warpath behind him.

**_The Following Morning..._**

Shadow prepared herself for the tough day ahead. She tugged her spiderweb shirt on over her head, ate tons of junk food, and picked up her fishing pole. Just as she was about to leave, she heard a splash from across the room. She turned, and saw the giant snakehead glaring at her from its tank. She had forgotten to feed it.

After feeding it, she ran outside...right into Spyke.

"AAAAAAGH!"

Shadow raised an eyebrow.

"Oh, it's just you." He turned and walked into Fifi."WHAT IS IT WITH ME AND WALKING INTO PEOPLE TODAY!" Then he saw Fifi's pink hair, and spazzed.

"Good morning!"

"It's not exactly good..." Shadow said.

"Well, I guess it is usually better at six, but I usually wake up at seven."

"PM, right?"

"Of course not, silly!" Fifi giggled. Shadow and Spyke gaped at her. Waking up at such an unholy hour? Every day! Of your own free will! It was mind-boggling.

"_The Tourney has begun!"_ The voice from the town clock chimed.

Spyke and Shadow glared at eachother. This was not a fishing tourney. This was a fishing **war.**

"Good luck!" Fifi chirped happily. "Why don't we shake hands?"

"I guess it couldn't hurt." Spyke and Shadow squeezed eachother's hands as hard as they could. Their smiles, however poorly feigned they were in the duration of their brief conversation, were definately registering a 12 on the Grimace Scale now. When they were done trying to break eachother's hands, they started to walk in different directions. Shadow had planned to stalk away in a dignified manner, until she realized that the river was in the other direction. Trying to act as thought she had meant to do that, Shadow walked with her head held high past a clueless Fifi and a snickering Spyke. In fact, she was so dignified, she walked right into a tree.

Spyke was still laughing as he left, a sly, devious little plan in mind.

Fifi skipped over to the river. She had spent the previous day trying to find the heart of the rod. It was a little harder than she had expected it to be.

Shadow had a nice spot above the waterfall. She went there sometimes, to bask in the solitude. The place was out of the way, a small corner tucked away. It was peaceful there, with a few flowers and apple trees scattered around. Best of all, Shadow doubted that anyone knew about the place. The nearest house an acre away, but that was if you jumped off the cliff and flew like a birdie. The river flowed peacefully. A shadow flitted about at the base of the waterfall. Shadow knew the meaning of this shadow.

"Fish, consider thyself caught!" She cast out her pole, and caught the fish. It was a large char. "Well, it's not a bass, but it's worth a ton of money. I should consider myself lucky! God, I sound like Fifi...I AM NOT PERKY AND CHEERFUL! Hey, I'm talking to myself in a loud and unusual manner! Oh well." She located another fish-shadow, and sent the line out again. Bored, she sang quietly, "Gotta catch 'em all, Pokemon!" She felt the line tighten, and reeled in a koi. "Aren't bass supposed to be common now?" she asked herself she dropped the fish into impossibly large pocket.

Shadow continued to fish for a long time. She caught four large char, three cherry salmon, two goldfish, and a partridge in a pear tree, but not a single bass, large or small. Shadow was losing hope. She reeled in her fishing line, expecting a salmon or trout of some sort. Then she saw it. A large bass.

"Yes!" She grinned triumphantly, reaching for the fish.

"COMING THROUGH!" Shady suddenly came from out of nowhere. She tripped , colliding into Shadow. The large bass fell back into the water and swam away.

"Oops...I'm sorry...that was a large bass, wasn't it? I'm sorry, I-"

"Leave me..."

"Okay, whatever you say, I am so sorry!"

"...alone..."

"Well, I'd assume that if I left you, you'd be alone."

"...with my thoughts..."

"Well, yeah, thoughts are good. And by the way, I'm sorry! You know that now, don't you, and-"

"...of revenge..."

"...Okay, bye then!" Shady walked at first, then ran.

Shady wasn't having a very good day. Firstly, her new alarm clock failed to wake her at 6 am, unearthly though that hour be. She had found the thing smashed against the wall. On top of that, her shovel had a new dent in it, one that had **not** been there yesterday. On top of that, her fishing rod was gone. Misssing. Nowhere to be found. She had gone to Nookway, but guess what? He'd already sold all of his fishing rods.Now, she was running around, hoping to somehow find one on the ground or something. The she got an idea.

"I know!" she yelled at a very disturbed bird. "I'll ask Rosie to lend me one!" Glowing in the genius of this idea, Shady sprinted to Rosie's house in B-1. _All this running is so annoying!_ she thought. _We should all just buy little golf carts and drive them around..._ Shady was so busy imagining the destructive prospects of a golf cart destruction derby that she ran right past Rosie's house. She immediately retraced her steps, and reached Rosie's house.

"...Need..." she paused to gasp. "...Fishing...rod..." Shady collapsed on the ground.

"Hello to you, too." Rosie nudged her with her foot. "Well, I do have one..."

Shady jumped up, exhaustion completely forgotten, and held out her hands. "Can I borrow it!"

Rosie's tail twitched. "Actually, I lent it to Snooty. You'll have to get it from her."

"Why didn't you tell me **before** you got my hopes up!" The blue cat shrugged.

Shady let out a long-suffering sigh, resigned to a long ordeal. She started to run in slow motion. Rosie blinked, then looked at her watch. Shady still ran in slow motion. Rosie stared for a while, then shook her head and went inside to do stuff. Shady was still running. A snail crawled past her. While in midair, Shady looked at her watch. "I'll never make it at this rate!" She started to run at a normal speed. Ten minutes later, she had reached Snooty's house.

"Snooty!"

The anteater looked around, then saw Shady. "Not **her**..."

"Fishing rod! NOW!"

"Oh, do you mean the beat-up old thing Rosie lent to me?" Snooty stuck her nose into the air. She couldn't stand Shady, but she also couldn't find anyone to talk to today. "Speaking of which, did you see that **awful** design she's wearing? Isn't it hideous?" Snooty giggled. "It looks like she found it at the dump!"

"...I made that design, you know." Awkward silence.

"Well, that just proves my point." Shady showed remarkable self-control, and refrained from punching Snooty, despite the bulging vein in her forehead.

"FISHING. ROD."

"Oh, right. I lent that thing to Leigh ages ago. Be a dear and go get it."

Shady released a primal scream of pure rage and frustration.

"GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

Spyke was fishing, although he kept snickering to himself. It was, in his opinion, quite clever of him to steal Shady's fishing rod. He had buried it somewhere by the ocean, correctly guessing that she wouldn't go that far to look for it. But, to buy every fishing rod in Nookway so she wouldn't be able to...that, my friend, is genius.

"I bet she's going beserk looking for it!" He smirked. Of course, messing with someone like her...not so smart. Far off in the backround, the faint echoes of a primal scream could still be heard. Spyke caught a large bass, and swaggered over to where a beaver stood by a stall. "I caught one!" He grinned, waving the fish in Chip's face.

"Are you participating in the tourney?" Chip tilted his head.

"Can you not **see** the fish?" Spyke shoved the fisheven closer tohis face.

"Do you want me to tell you the rules? Yes? No? Do you want to hear them?" the beaver continued as though Spyke hadn't spoken.

"I KNOW THE DAMN RULES!" Such social grace amazes me.

"Good! Telling the rules is such a long, toothsome chore! Dull for me, dull for you! Nyuk nyuk nyuk!" he laughed annoyingly. Spyke hit him with the fish.

"Take the stupid thing already!" Chip did just that.

"Now this is more like what I've been waiting for! Let's see, this beauty is..." he brought the fish so close it was almost touching his nose. "...20 inches. Tremendous!" Spyke grinned. "Not really." Spyke's grin disappeared. "See, Kiki caught a 28 incher. When the big ones start biting, competition gets fierce! (_And my stomache gets full!)_ Keep trying!" And with that, Chip ate the fish. Raw.

Spyke bit back his disgust. "Well, you know, if you'd just **shut up** for a second maybe I-"

"De-li-cious!" A heart floated above Chip's head for a moment, then disappeared as he belched. "Keep aiming for the biggest bass!"

Spyke, relieved that Chip had finally shut up, ran as fast as he could. _He's like that Energizer bunny,_ he thought. _He just keeps going and going and going..._Spyke started to fish again, but, alas, he only caught small bass. He grew increasingly frustrated, and kept grumbling to himself.

"Why did Kiki have to catch that fish!" He caught another small bass, and snapped. He ran up to Kiki. "WHHHYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!" Kiki blinked, shrugged, and went back to fishing.

Shady had finally stopped her primal screams of rage, and was now politely asking Leigh for the location of the fishing rod.

They were in a dark room, with Leigh tied to a chair. Shady shone a flashlight in Leigh's face. "Now, Leigh, tell me where the fishing rod is!"

"Never!"

"You force me to use drastic measures!" She picked up a gingerbread man. Leigh gasped.

"Not the gumdrop buttons!"

"Then tell me!"

"Okay...do you know the Muffin Man?"

"The muffin man? Who lives on Drury Lane?"

"I lent IT to the Muffin Man."

"The Muffin Man?"

"THE MUFFIN MAN!"

"Alright then. Here, you can keep the gumdrop buttons!" Shady tore the gumdrops off the gingerbread man and threw them at Leigh, then stuffed the gingerbread man into her mouth. She ran out of the room, leaving Leigh still tied to the chair.

"Um...Shady? You can let me go now...SHADY!"

Shady hopped on the train and went to Drury Lane. She checked the map by the train station. Indeed, one of the humans was was called the 'Muffin Man.' She located the house, and loudly banged on the door. "Okay, Muffin Man, open up!"

A man wearing a chef's hat opened the door, and gasped. "The cops! **They found me!**"

Shady blinked. "Um, dude, I'm just here to get a fishing rod." The Muffin Man was visibly relieved.

"Oh, I returned that thing yesterday, sweetie!"

"You WHAT!"

"Oh, could you um, you know, not give Officer Copper my whereabouts?"

"Whatever!" Shady was already halfway back to the train. During the entire ride back, she was fuming over the wasted work. No, she was literally steaming-

"HEY! Narrarator-person! SHUT THE :**BLEEP**: UP!"

...I am so not paid enough for this job...anyways, Shady got off the train and ran to Rosie's house.

"Oh, Shady, hi! I remembered just after you left that I got it back yesterday-uh, why are you looking at me like that? Urm...heh...you can keep it, because of your hard work and all."

"Thank you." Shady looked at her watch. "HOLY CRAP! IT'S 5:32! I ONLY HAVE TWENTY-EIGHT-" The minute hand moved. "-SEVEN MINUTES LEFT!" Shady ran to the river as quickly as possible, which was actually pretty quickly because Rosie was only an acre's length away from the river. Despite that, Shady was frantically searching for a fish. She had the luck to catch a large bass, so she ran to where Chip was. After he finished his usual preamble (driving Shady to the point of insanity) he measured the fish.

"32 INCHES!" He yelled delightedly. "And now, the moment my stomache's been waiting for..." He devoured the fish. "De-li-cious!" And he belched. "A great score, and with only five minutes left, too! I don't think anyone can beat tha..." Chip trailed off as Fifi slowly dragged the largest bass in the history of large bass forward.

**T**_h_**E**_ e_**N**_d _**O**_f _**C**_h_**A**_p_**T**_e_**R **_t_**W**_o_!

W00t! Long chappie! Yay for me! Please R&R! Unless you LIKE getting poked with a Hoky Pokey Stick of Pain. (insert maniacal laugh here)


	3. Chapter 3:It endsfor NOW! Muahahaha!

You poor, poor things...getting exposed to my writing...I pity you all.

_Disclaimer:_ Yeah, I **wish** I owned Animal Crossing. If I did, I'd be rich. If I was rich, I could purchase a secret base in the middle of the Carribean and work on my plans of world domination. (blinks) Did I say that out loud? Anyways, seeing as how I am not rich, and I do not have a secret base, I must conclude that I, sadly, do not own this game.

_**Chappie 3: It's over...for now...**_

Shadow, Shady and Spyke sat in Shady's house. Shady had put K.K. Soul on her CD player, and the three did nothing but listen to it while sulking and being sullen and morose and all that. Or, rather, they tried to. It was a little hard to do that in Shady's abode. The place was decorated with matching "Backyard Fence" and "Backyard Lawn" on the walls and floor. Brightly colored furniture (nothing pink, though) was scattered across the room. Shady was relaxing on the hammock she had traded her bed for, Shadow was sitting in the red armchair with a book, and Spyke was looking through Shady's refrigerator. The room was crammed with gyroids that Shady had found and refused to get rid of. They could barely hear the music over the noise the gyroids were making.

"You should sell some of these." Spyke said loudly, nudging one of the gyroids with his foot.

"WHAT?"

"I SAID YOU SHOULD SELL SOME OF THESE!" He yelled.

"**WHAT**!" Shady jumped off of her hammock and grabbed the gyroid he was poking.

"**I SAID-**"

"I HEARD YOU!" Shady hugged her gyroid like she would a cat, and glared at Spyke.

"Then why-oh, never mind!" Spyke tried to stomp away, but tripped over one of the random outfits Shady left lying around on the floor. _Aren't girls supposed to be neat and tidy and obsessed about not getting their clothes dirty? What is wrong with Shady? WHY CAN'T SHE JUST STICK TO BEING STEREOTYPICAL AND MAKE MY LIFE EASIER! _He mentally ranted for two minutes while he stomped around the room.

Shadow glared at him from the red armchair. The fool was causing an unnecessary amount of noise in an already unnecessarily loud house. Just as she was about to add to the noise level and tell Spyke to sit down, the noise level dropped substantially. Shady had turned most of the gyroids and the CD player off, and was now pressing her face against the window.

"I can't believe it!"

"What?"

"Fifi's getting **interviewed**!" Shady's voice was tinged with a hint of jealousy. Oh yes, just a hint, no more. I mean, I doubt anyone who didn't know her could tell that she was jealous. I mean, it wasn't as though she was shaking with misplaced anger, or glaring daggers at Fifi, and her voice wasn't dripping with contempt and venom...no, wait, she was. Okay, more than a hint of jealousy there.

"You're kidding me!" Spyke gaped. Shadow stared at Shady.

"You mean...there are actual reporters out there?" Shadow said slowly. There was something unreadable in her voice that neither Shady nor Spyke couldn't pin down. Since something far more interesting was going on outside, though, they forgot about it in a second.

"There's even a camera guy!" Shady squealed. It wasn't a happy squeal. Far from that. "She'll be on tv!"

"Are you kidding me! Hey, there's an ambulance!"

"They've got Chip on a stretcher!"

"What's wrong with him?"

"The guy ate a fifty-inch bass in one gulp. Raw. And you are asking me what is wrong with the guy." Spyke blinked, then looked outside again.

"Jeez, his stomache is bigger than he is." Shadow cautiously peeked out the window as well.

"That is not a pretty site."

"I can't believe Fifi's getting all this attention. I can't believe she even caught that bass."

"It was her first day fishing, too."

"I mean, if Biff had caught it, or Rosie, or Butch, I'd be happy for those guys! They spent days practicing for today's tourney!"

There was a moment of silence as they all watched Fifi get interviewed.

"I hate the fishing tourney so much right now, it's not even funny."

_Outside..._

"So, what do you attribute your success to?" The reporter asked Fifi.

The reporter sighed, looked at her watch, then rephrased the question. "Why do you think you caught the fish?" She said. The smile on her face was only for the benefit of the camera.

"Oh. Well, you see, my wonderful and supportive friends told me about the fishing tourney, as well as how to fish."

"Wonderful. Okay, we'll just need a photo for the newspaper, and then we'll be done. Smile for the camera."

"Wait, um, could my friends be in it? This is a wonderful scrapbook moment!"

"Yeah, sure, just get them quickly." As Fifi started towards Shady's house, she glanced at her watch again and whined to the cameraman, "Why can't she run? I'm missing my so-o-ooaaps!" This was accompanied with a minature temper tantrum.

"You know this camera's still on, right?"

"Well, those geeks back at the station can edit the damn thing."

"You know that they'll hear that comment when they edit it, right?"

"Hear that?" She paused. The wind blew, and a cricket chirped. "That's the sound of me not caring. Now shut up and film."

"But-"

"Shut up."

During this fascinating discussion, Fifi had found Shady, Shadow and Spyke, and had convinced them to posse for the camera. All she had to say was "photo" and "newspaper" and Spyke yanked open the door and dashed outside, closely followed by Shady dragging Shadow.

They were halfway there when Shadow froze.

"Shadow, c'mon!"

"..." Shadow's eyes grew larger.

"Shadow?" Shady waved a hand in front of her face. Her eyes grew even larger, and her jaw dropped. "Shadow?"

"It's...it's..."

"It's what?" That's when the reporter turned around and saw Shadow.

"IT'S A REPORTER!" Shadow turned around and started to head for the hills.

"IT'S A VICTIM!" The reporter squealed, and started to chase Shadow.

Spyke stared at the retreating reporter, and then at the annoyed cameraman.

"Should we help her?"

The cameraman shrugged. "It's just a thing this reporter does. If anyone shows the slightest trace of fear, she'll chase them and bug them with endless questions."

"That's all? And here I thought she was a psycho killer who randomly wanted to kill Shadow." Spyke shrugged and turned away, planning on doing random, pointless things to waste time.

"That's all? THAT'S ALL!" Shady glared at Spyke. "Knowing Shadow, if she gets pestered with an annoying, unceasing, incessant flow of questions long enough, she'll either die of annoyance or kill the reporter!"

"So?"

"SO THAT'S **BAD**!"

"It is?"

"Either Shadow dies, or no picture in the local paper!"

"Well, good-bye Shadow."

"..." Spyke slowly edged away from Shady.

"I'm joking, I'm joking!"

"Hey, we still have the video camera! We can make home movies!" Fifi chimed in.

Spyke and Shady looked at each other, then they ran. Fifi followed. "Guys!"

Shall we see it through the view of the camera?

_Everything is in black and white, and snow flickers across the screen now and then. We see two teenagers running. One of them yells at the other about not memorizing a map. More yelling. Then the camera falls onto the ground._

Meanwhile, Shadow was still running away from the reporter. Her whole goal in life had narrowed to escape. She didn't have any weapons with her, and she did not want to get annoyed to death.

"Wait! Whowhatwhenwherewhy?"

"Go away!"

"Nev-!" A cell phone rang. "Curses!" The reporter pulled it out of her pocket. "Talk to me. Oh. Okay. Be right there. What do you mean, I went over my monthly minutes? I was set up for unlimited weekend minutes!" The reporter continued to talk until she was gone from sight.

Shadow continued to hide behind a tree until she was certain the reporter was gone. After a while, she left the safety of the tree. A second later, she was trampled by Shady and Spyke.

"OW!"

"Shadow, you're okay!"

"Guess this means the reporter's dead."

"No, she had to answer her cell phone."

"Now that we know you're not dead, let's start running."

"Why?"

"Two words." Shady said. "Home movies."

"Start running already."

Fifi walked up. "Hello."

Three pairs of eyes stared at her.

"I couldn't find anyone to film, so I gave the camera back to the cameraguy. Then, two minutes later, I run into you guys! Isn't that ironic?"

Three people relaxed now that the danger of getting filmed in a home movie (and having to sit through it later) was gone.

"I also checked my notebook, and I found out that there are three more tourneys this month. Isn't that great?"

"Yeah..." Spyke then, for some random reason, saw Fifi's pink hair. He spazzed, because of the sheer pinkness of it.

"Gasp! He is in need of medical attention! I'll have to take him to Doc!"

Shadow looked at Shady quizzically. "Shady, the guy doesn't even know how to apply a band-aid." Shady stomped on Shadow's foot. "Ow."

"Oh no! Shadow's condition is acting up, too! I'll have to hurry!"

Fifi was instantly concerned. "Oh, you poor things! What is your condition, anyway?"

Shadow glared at Shady. "I don't **have** a condition, Shady's just being stu-" Shady stomped on her foot as hard as she could. "OW!"

"She's very sensitive about it. I'd tell you what Spyke's is, but he made me promise not to tell. In fact, he didn't even tell **me** what it was. I'd better get them to Doc's! See ya later!" Shady dragged Shadow and Spyke (still spazzing) away, leaving Fifi to puzzle over what she had said.

"Hmm...my head hurts..." All Fifi's puzzling did was puzzle the puzzleness out of her puzzler. "I know, I'll make cupcakes! Nice, sweet cupcakes will make anyone feel better! Unless they have diabetes..."

So, that's why, ten minutes later, while Shady, Shadow and Spyke were on the other side of town bugging their animal friends, Fifi was making cupcakes. Let's go into her house and watch her...that sounded stalker-like. Well, let's go in and observe her. This could become the new cooking channel.

_Inside Fifi's house..._

Fifi was baking using her lovely kitchen, which is pink. At one point, she dropped some crumbs onto the pink floor, so she wiped them up with a pink towel. At this point, a soliciter called her on her pink phone, so she answered it. While pleasantly telling him that she was perfectly happy with her current long-distance provider (whatever that means) she stared at her pink wallpaper. After hanging up the phone, she glanced at herself in the pink mirror on her pink vanity, and quickly brushed through her pink hair with a pink hairbrush. After which she checked to make sure that she had enough pink frosting and pink sprinkles for the cupcakes, and-I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE! THE PINK! IT BURNS, DAMNIT, IT BURNS! I SWEAR I'LL QUIT IF THIS KEEPS UP-

_"You have a contract, you know."_

YOU'RE NOT THE BOSS OF ME!

_"Actually, seeing as how I **am** the authoress and all, I am."_

But...the pink...

_"Hey, I have to write this stuff, you know. It's no bag of Skittles. Mmmm...Skittles."_

Fine. I'll continue to narrarate, but only if I don't have to do another scene in this house.

_"Deal. I was actually scaring myself there. Okay, people, issues with the Narrarator have been solved. Fear not, the story will continue as usual."_

Throughout this, Fifi had been happily making the cupcakes. Despite the fact that she was making cupcakes, not muffins, she sang a song about muffins.

"Do you know the muffin man, the muffin man, the muffin man, do you know the muffin man who lives on Drury Lane!"

The door to Fifi's house was smashed open by Officer Copper.

"Thank you, honorable citizen, for revealing the hidden location of the Muffin Man! I can catch him now!"

"But, Officer Copper, it..."

"I thank you, Citizen Fifi, for aiding me in the capture of this felon, and the city thanks you!" Officer Copper ran outside, took out his gun, struck a Charlie's Angels pose, and ran onto the train.

"...It's just a song..."

Pinky, the friendly neighborhood pink bear named after a finger, walked in. "Hello Fifi. Um, what happened to your door?"

"Officer Copper stopped by. Something about the Muffin Man."

"Okay..."

"Want to help me make cupcakes?"

"Um, no thanks, I don't have that much time. I was just stopping by."

"Okay."

"See you around!" Pinky left.

"Bye!" Fifi said cheerfully. For some reason, the whole OMG-my-door-just-got-knocked-down-and-now-I-have-to-fix-it-type reaction didn't happen. Instead, Fifi sniffed the air. A slight burning smell... "My cupcakes!"

_**It's the end of the chapter. But there will be another one. SO STOP CRYING!**_

Yay. Done with another chapter. (cheers) Okay, really tired and suffering from sugar-withdrawal now. (Note to Self: Never, ever, EVER eat Skittles during lunch again. Especially before math. Hyperness in math:bad. The resulting tiredness and hallucinations, while still in math:bad. NO MORE SKITTLES!) I'd better go to bed, I have Wednesday schedule tomorrow. All classes on the same day. Tons of homework to turn in. Math right after PE. Science and English in the morning. French RIGHT before lunch. I hate Wednesdays.


End file.
